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So You Want A Chef Boyfriend/Husband, Eh? Boy, Bye! Here’s What They DON’T Tell You

Good Day Starshine!

I just had to write about this topic today. There are so many people I’ve heard say

“Omg, I want a chef bf/husband”

Boy BYE!

I decided to let people to know that you really don’t understand what you’re trying to get yourself into. I am taking my collective experience from my relationship and other chef wives/girlfriends, and bringing you the real deal.

You Will Never See Your Partner

I know, it seems a little harsh, but it’s the truth. If they are a true chef, they will be busy all of the time. When they finally get a day off, you better believe they are going to be catching up on all the rest they’ve missed. OR they’ll be too pooped to do anything. Being a chef calls so much of their attention and time.

I remember my partner would tell me he’s getting off at midnight, so I’d make my way to the restaurant and wait…and wait…and wait. I’d look at the clock and it’d be almost 2 a.m. before he got out of the restaurant. Not because they’re lolligaggin’ around, but because the kitchen schedule is based on customers leaving on time, the back of house and front of house being cleaned, prep, etc. The list goes on.

No, You Won’t Always Have Delicious Food At Home

Let’s set the record straight on this one. If your partner works the line or is a Sous or Head chef, do you really think you are going to get a Michelin star meal every night? HECK NO! You’ll barely get a meal. And if you’re waiting for them all day to come home and cook for you, you’re better off just prepping dinner/meals for the both of you. I guarantee that all they want is a quick and easy meal to tie them over. You may be subject to a fancy meal on a special night, or maybe when they are testing out recipes, but don’t look forward to it.

My partner cooks a lot of our meals, not because I force him to, but because he’s always hungry!

Be Prepared For Crazy Recipes

I applaud my partner for being able to make something out of nothing. When I look in the fridge, I just see sporadic food placement and nothing that goes together. When my partner looks in the fridge, he sees heaven. Maybe even a touch of God above swooping delicious aromas around his head until he wakes up from his daze with a fully prepared Michelin star meal.

I’m serious. Most chefs can create the most delicious dishes from foods we would never even have thought to put together. Their palate is trained to learn to combine flavors that compliment each other. I’ve had many experimented recipes throughout the years. Some were amazing, others should never be used again haha. If you are not the adventurous type, you may not be ready for a chef.

Watch For Signs of Alcohol Abuse and Mental Health Issues

Let’s get on a serious note. If your chef/partner works in a high-end restaurant, please watch their light. It can dim quickly, and vanish before your eyes. Many chefs turn to alcohol after “a long day” to take the edge off, but a ton of chefs abuse the alcohol. They drink past their limits to, what I believe, numb the anguish of the day. Most professional kitchens take such a huge toll on your mental health. It’s draining. Sometimes you feel that you are giving your best work, and it still gets shut down. It’s like being in a cult while your superiors take their anger out on you, and you have to endure the hazing until you finally decide that you’ve had enough.

The problem is that your partner may not even see that they are taking up drinking on a heavy level. They may not even see that it is also effecting your relationship. So, I suggest to watch the signs and talk to them before it gets worse. They may try to convince they’re fine, they may even give the excuse of having a hard day, but everyday for them is going to be like that in those type of restaurants. Also, be sure to notice random yelling or anger/frustration that is out of the norm. It is not healthy for this to happen out of the blue. Try helping by practicing meditation/prayer with them. If that doesn’t seem to work, sit them down and talk to them on a loving level Always keep an eye out.

Don’t Touch Their Knives

Ok, last but not least. If you are dating a chef, don’t, I repeat, DON’T touch their knives. They are very expensive and thou shalt not touch it or else ye shall die!

They are so serious about their knives, and when I saw the price tag on one of them bad boys I can’t say that I blame them. They’re like their little sharp babies that they’ve spent all of the day sharpening to perfection. Why would you try to mess with perfection?

Another reason I found that chefs care so much about their knives is because they train with them, yep I said it. They go to the field and train. They take the closest thing to a mushroom and speed through as many as they can, slicing and chopping every kind of cutting style until they all come out symmetrical. After a long day’s work, they head home and start the process all over again. Their knife is like…a Harry Potter Wand. It is specifically chosen and trained to work with their cutting type.

I’m kidding of course, but that’s what it feels like. Besides the fact that certain cutting surfaces dull the blade, and their knives being so sharp you can slice off your finger and never realize it, the knife is a sacred item.

So keep your paws off it.

*BONUS* Be Prepared for the Extra-ness at Restaraunts

I am warning you now, you will be forced to watch them taste every thing they can while explaining the earthy taste and floral aromas of the food. You’ll have to watch them waft their food and smell into the air to get the full effect of the taste. Oh, you want wine too? Better be prepared for the swirling, slurping, and sniffing of the wine before they tell you the full ingredient list! You will never look at food the same again. Which, is a good and bad thing. If you are like me, make sure to try and stop the extra divaness of your partner early, because they might ruin your favorite cheap restaurant for you. ahahaha!

That’s all for today! If you still think you are ready for a chef partner, then by all means make it happen!

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